Attacked by the Wild Animals of Fashion.

I can't believe it. I really never thought I'd have to do this again. I mean, lately the style has been jersey skirts with uneven hems (totally fine) or gaucho pants (totally fine, more "fine for tango" than "fine in real life", but still fine) or even those capris with the I Dream of Jeannie slits up the sides (looks like a stiletto trap to me, but if you can stay aloft in them, totally fine).

Sometimes a costumey dress or a strappy top or calf-length fishnets or weird liquid-gold pants pop up on a tango video someplace, but that's okay, because if you can dance in it without falling out or tripping or something, more power to you, and I actually appreciate weird fashion. Better weird than skanky, I say - liquid-gold pants are infinitely better than wearing a filmy white skirt with a black thong, which I have seen more times than I am really comfortable with.

Anyway, my prevailing point is that I like when people dress like sensible humans, and when I see someone whose outfit seems to defy all the bounds of logic, I get confused. We all get confused, I know. We all wish we could do something about Unsmart Outfit Syndrome. But then I see this:

Tango dancers of the world, I beg you - just because a woman is wearing a dress so long she can't possibly dance in it and is bound to trip is NO REASON to enlist a group of lions to rend the bottom of her dress so you can see where her ankles are. This will not help! The lions don't like the taste of mesh, and so you get all the inconvenience of a long, ratty hemline, plus now this poor girl is going to freeze. This isn't fair - she has enough to worry about, since her dress has split at the waist and is currently displaying the outline of every empanada she's ever eaten.