And her bastardy heart shrank three sizes that day!

Welcome to another edition of Bastardy Grump (c)!

1. Things visiting Argentine bigshots are talking about at the milonga when you dance past:
1) Coffee, wanting more
2) Dessert, wishing they had had less
3) Water, procurement of
4) Orchestra, debate over merits of
5) Dancing, debates over merits of
6) Bunions, possible presence of
7) Seafood, possible danger of
8) Sex
9) Sleeping, dire need of
10) Nice shoes, desire for
11) Orchestra vs. Dancing 2: Tango Boogaloo
12) Orchestra, violent fight over

Things they are most probably not talking about:
1) Dancing, your

What they think of you when you approach them, interrupt their conversation, and ask what they were talking about regarding your dancing as you prepare carefully for a compliment:
1) Jerk, total


This is why Argentines stay in Buenos Aires and don't teach in America. Stop it!