Thursday, February 15, 2007

Capezio, oh Capezio - why?!

Dear Capezio,

Our relationship has been short but passionate, but lately I wonder if you care for me at all. You tempted me with your comfortable class shoes, and oh, how I needed you! oh, how our love blossomed!

When you offered me
this shoe: "...soft, comfortable, sleek and responsive. Genuine cow suede heel and sole pods are padded for comfort and shock absorption. Sueded heel and forepart socklining connect with a stretch material providing support without sacrificing articulation."

How could a woman resist? You provided a sensibly-priced pair of shoes, and after trying them on in the store and oching for a while, they felt as if you had crafted them only for me, as if no other mass-market dance-shoe manufacturer could ever know me as well as you did.

Capezio, these shoes are a PACK OF LIES. These is like the Nixon administration of shoes. They cut off the circulation of the arch and somehow manage to grind the top of my toes towards the ground so that my foot gets negative support. That's right, my love, NEGATIVE support.

I actually began to turn into a tree, Daphne-style, and my heart ached to think that this is what you wanted - that THIS was what you called love! This morning I was walking around my office like R2-D2 because my feet still hurt from NOT EVEN DANCING in these shoes for the past two nights.

Darling, I don't understand. You also make this extremely comfortable sneaker. Clearly you must still care for me; clearly, deep down, you could hear my silent cries. Why did you have to hurt me with all that talk of revolutionary "sole pods" when all I needed to know was that this other shoe had a little layer of padding in it?

Capezio, I'm so confused. Please, please write soon. My heart pounds to think that perhaps I've been wrong about you all along - that perhaps all this time, that Russian Sansha might be the generalized split-sole jazz-sneaker for me, and you never cared for me at all! Oh, Capezio, how could I bear it?

I send you a thousand kisses - and also this stupid shoes, which I'm returning, because ow.

All my love,


Danzarin said...

This post made me laugh so hard. I totally agree.. I bought another pair that looked and felt so comfortable, but after a couple of songs (not even tandas) I felt like the arch of my foot was falling apart. How do these professional dancers do it??? But in general I have a love/hate relationship with all tango shoes:) Wobbling the next day, well that is inevitable for a girl with big feet like me. Thanks for sharing:)

Caroline said...

Always smart to stick with comfortable shoes - it will pay off in the long run. In 10, 20, 30 years from now, your feet will thank you for not subjecting them to badly fitting shoes.